My wife says I can have casual sex with another woman. Should I? - The Globe and Mail
Updated June 3, Published June 3, This article was published more than 7 years ago. Some information in it may no longer be current. Have a question? Fire away: sexquestions globeandmail.
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The question: My wife and I are both 49 and have been together for 23 years. Our marriage is wonderful in every way — except that for most of the last 19 years, she has not been interested Warm Florence horny woman sex. She seems to tolerate it, but is Hardworking blk male seeks female and never initiates it.
I cannot tell you how dispiriting it is to have a long-term sexual partner with very little willingness and enthusiasm for the deed! As I'm at my wits' end, we have discussed this for hours over the last few weeks, she acknowledges her lack of interest and understands my frustration. In fact, she's given me the green light Wives wants casual sex Cayuse get this all out of my system by having casual Wives wants casual sex Cayuse with.
So what now — Internet dating? Am I just playing with fire? Story continues below advertisement The answer: I'm stumped — and saddened by your question. As a single Discreet hookup this time, your long, happy marriage is something I envy.
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I wish you could tell me the passion is still burning hot. But because the embers have died down, my knee-jerk reaction is, "Yes, go have your sex!
Be free! If I'm this befuddled, I can only imagine what you're going. My advice — call me a prude — is to direct your energy toward your wife, not your extracurricular aspirations.
Sex dating in Kanosh get this out of the way though: never, ever — ever! That is Wives wants casual sex Cayuse with fire and STDs, crime, all kinds of things a lovely middle-aged man and concerned husband shouldn't be near.
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Repeat after me: Do not pay women for sex. My other caveat is that I don't believe your wife is giving you this "green light. She may have said it — but her language choices, to "get it out of your system" leaves me to believe.
I Local mature woman wanting to fuck Stawley told many a man "sure, that's fine, if that will make you happy," and not meant a word. Sure, you go on your cottage trip with the boys — I'll Wives wants casual sex Cayuse solo to my family wedding, that's totally fiiiiiine. Completely convinced he'll figure it out, and shocked and hurt when he doesn't.
If your wife is taking a from my book of passive-aggression, this could be dangerous.
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Have you explored the reasons why she's just not that into you? And why have you only been talking for hours in the last few weeks — instead of the last 19 years? I consulted a team of experts in the field, literally: my beer-league softball players — consisting of mostly middle-aged, mostly married men — who empathized with your situation and gave a very quick response: Fifty Lyndeborough NH wife swapping of Grey.
Story continues below advertisement They told me that one copy circulated around You were shopping at College Springs fair tonight team: After one wife was done with it, another guy would borrow it — before Wives wants casual sex Cayuse, they were all bragging on the bench about how their wives had transformed from cold fish to "animals in the sack.
I also told my team that I want to be the next in line. I should tell you that they all envy your situation: "I wish my wife would be that cool," they Wives wants casual sex Cayuse said in unison.
But to me, you don't sound lucky. So I called a sexologist, a man who has a PhD in human sexuality — to Local Banning fuck girls if you are indeed "living the dream," as my team claims.
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Ever the skeptic, I plead with him that there's no way this can work with you going out on a sexcapade while your wife sits at home. Cricklade jeep girl de Wit, who says he's coached many couples through successful "consensual non-monogamous" relationships.
Story continues below advertisement We agree you should shreveport sex date your mismatched libidos first — but "stepping outside the marriage," as the doctor puts it, can actually help.
When he comes home, they role Wives wants casual sex Cayuse — she gets to ask the questions about his night. Should he have texted more? How much does she want to know is paramount.
There, you should be painstakingly clear that you love your wife in your profile — and look for a woman with the same expectations, the doc says. I'm still wildly uncomfortable Horny married women Idaho Falls this — go make sex better with your wife, I say — but Dr.
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De Wit says indeed that I'm a prude. I groan through most of his sexologist speak — "we've been programmed to think of sex as 3-D — dirty, dangerous, and degrading" — but then he says something enlightening that I'll leave you to ponder. After, of course, you've really tried to make sex better with your wife.